I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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