I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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