Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
handjob tips. give me some.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
they're like a gay fantastic four
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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