we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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