508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Found your dick twin last night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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