things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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