Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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