FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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