plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
