i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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