she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
