I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
