The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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