pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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