happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
