Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we're so committed to being not committed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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