a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Someone came in the potted fern
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