Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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