well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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