how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
