Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
