Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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