2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
