playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
