ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize