i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
