i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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