I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
