Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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