Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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