And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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