Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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