If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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