Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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