I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
