dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
