how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize