I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
