I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
