girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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