Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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