If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
