Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
