I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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