I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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