Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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