I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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