come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize