I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
