i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
