Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
