id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
