he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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