my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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