Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
