i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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