Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
