just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
