why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
