return my video game
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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