She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
