guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize