I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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