The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
