I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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