That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
my poor anus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
