I wannas sexs uuuuu
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
