Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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