I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize