i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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