Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
