Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
