I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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