Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
