Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
