Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
