it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
