dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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