DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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