I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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