if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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