walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
